Yeah yeah, â??a lease is a lease,â? I get it. Even though I havenâ??t had hot water for the 12 months Iâ??ve been here. You know what a year of cold showers does to a man?! Oh, and thank you for educating me that â??lessor-controlled heatâ? translates to â??35 degrees in my apartment in winter.â?

Iâ??ll just use this Dyson DC22 Turbinehead Canister Vacuum. I donâ??t care if the DC23 has a bigger bin; itâ??s cheaper too, but thatâ??s because this one has more power. That means more dirt off the carpet and less time picking fingernails out of my area rug.

YEAH, I BITE MY NAILS! IS THAT AGAINST YOUR PRECIOUS LEASE, TOO?!

You know what? Iâ??m not even going to use the hard floor tool. And forget about the stair tool. Iâ??m sick of slumlords like you pushing people like me around! You think youâ??re the only one in town offering a two-bedroom with a view in a great neighborhood 20 minutes from my work?

Well an extensive analysis of the rental market indicates that you are, but thatâ??s still no reason to lord it over me!